My Spouse Won't Agree To A Divorce: What To Do Next

According to Divorce Magazine, approximately 10 percent of the total adult population of the United States has been through a divorce. If you've had a friend or family member who went through a divorce, you know how difficult and exhausting the entire process can be. If you are contemplating a divorce or have already began the process, this already difficult time can become more complicated if your spouse isn't cooperative. If your spouse is resistant to the divorce, here are a few tips to help you proceed:

Learn About Your State's Divorce Laws

Before you file, consult with a lawyer about your state's divorce laws. For example, all states have some variation of a "no-fault" divorce. If you go forward with a no-fault divorce, your partner doesn't need to agree to the petition, which means that even though they are not participating, you could still be granted a divorce.

However, if you proceed with a no-fault divorce, you will have to provide the courts with a reason why you should be granted a divorce. Typically, the reason for the divorce will be "irreconcilable differences," "irremediable breakdown of the marriage," or another term that is used in your state that simply means you are no longer compatible, and you want a divorce. In some states, you may also have to live apart for a set amount of time before you will be granted a no-fault divorce.

If your spouse contests the divorce, the court will see this as proof of your incompatibility, which will make it much easier for the divorce to continue. If you aren't sure whether a no-fault or fault divorce is the best option for you, don't hesitate to ask your lawyer for their advice.

Consider Discernment Counseling

If you've already gone through marriage counseling, chances are you don't want to visit a psychologist again because you have already made up your mind about continuing with the divorce. However, if your spouse is being contentious or making it difficult for you to proceed, there is a way for you to discuss your issues with another party to be there to help.

Unlike marriage counseling, which involves meeting with a psychologist to work through your problem to save your marriage, discernment counseling is a way for you both to come to an understanding about your decision to leave the relationship. During counseling, a psychologist will be there to help you and your spouse understand why your relationship failed, and hopefully help your spouse understand and come to accept the reasons why you are contemplating divorce.

In cases where your spouse is refusing to consider divorce or a legal separation, discernment counseling can help you make the reasons why you are considering divorce in a safe and healthy environment.

If Things Get Ugly

Unfortunately, when two spouses are in total disagreement about the course of their marriage, things can become very hostile. For example, your spouse may drag their feet and protest your divorce at every turn. If this occurs, don't hesitate to work with your lawyer to find a solution. In the majority of cases, if you file for a no-fault divorce, your spouse's efforts to delay the proceedings will only wind up costing you both a lot of time and money.

Your lawyer will also help prepare you for court. Because you are filing for a no-fault divorce, you will need to meet before a judge to ask for the divorce. Even if your spouse objects, the judge will still grant the petition and you will move onto other matters, such as custody of any children and division of your property.

Filing for a divorce is a heart wrenching process, especially if one spouse doesn't want to proceed. If you are considering filing for divorce, don't hesitate to contact an attorney for more assistance and advice.