How To Avoid Sending Mixed Messages To Kids During Your Divorce

When you are going through a divorce, the first person you may want to call every day may be your family law or divorce lawyer, someone like Joanna Cobleigh Esq, to see exactly how close you are to finalizing it. The last person you want to call is your soon-to-be ex. However, you may need to do just that on some days.

You and the spouse you are divorcing may need to come together in a variety of surprising ways throughout the divorce for the well-being of your kids. Whenever you do, it's important to avoid sending mixed messages to kids during the divorce.

Stop! Don't Tell Your Kids That You May Reunite

When your children have broken hearts about the fact that their parents are getting a divorce, it can be tempting to soothe them and give them hope by saying that you never know what will happen in the future. While that may be true to some extent, it is probably false hope if you and your ex have taken the steps necessary to get a divorce. Therefore, don't let kids believe it, or they are in for an even greater level of pain if the divorce is finalized.

Stop! Don't Openly Go on Dates Before You're Officially Divorced

When you and your ex get to the point of legally separating and pursuing a divorce, you may feel already over any romantic feelings that you once had for them. When you are living as a single person again, it may feel like a good time to start dating again.

The truth is that dating during a divorce is often not a good idea. Sometimes doing so can work against you in court, and it can also work against you in terms of the message you send your kids. Even if you decide to date during a divorce, don't let your kids in on this news, and only date when they are staying with the spouse you're divorcing.

Stop! Don't Sing the Praises of Your Soon-to-Be Ex

Ask any divorce lawyer if most people are quick to praise a spouse they're divorcing, and you will get a resounding no. However, you may want to emphasize your ex's positive traits when talking to your children about their other parent during a divorce.

Not so fast! If you are praising your ex a lot during a divorce, your children may interpret that as a sign that you want to get back together with your ex. They may even take it upon themselves to play matchmaker. It's best to avoid that by being civil but not going overboard in singing your ex's praise.

Finally, keep in mind that children may be looking for signs that you and your ex may get back together. They may interpret the smallest encouragement as signs that their family is getting back together, so be careful with what you do or say during the divorce. Consult your family law attorney as needed through the divorce process and keep your kids as your first priority, and you are going to be well-prepared for the finalizing of the divorce and the life that awaits you once you are officially, legally single.