Tips For Continuing (And Keeping The Peace At) Family Meetings During A Divorce

Family meetings are a tradition in many households. They are a weekly tradition where the family meets and discusses any issues that arise within the family. These meetings are a time when you can air grievances and be heard, while they are also a time when it's important to listen to any cares and concerns that other members of your family have.

When you are going through a divorce, the last thing you may want to do is meet up with your soon-to-be ex each week. However, being consistent with these meetings can be reassuring to your children at a time when so much is up in the air. If you and the spouse you're divorcing decide to continue the meetings, here are some tips at how to best manage them. If in doubt, consult your divorce lawyer about what you should and shouldn't do at the meetings.

Tip #1: Keep the Focus on the Kids

Although you may seem like a family meeting would be an ideal place to air all the many grievances you have against your spouse, you need to stifle any anger you feel towards your spouse throughout each meeting. Instead, focus on listening to things that the children say and use the meetings to show your kids that you and your spouse are still completely devoted to co-parenting them.

Tip #2: Have a Plan to Deal with Complaints Against You or Your Ex

Sometimes children may bring up a complaint against one parent in the family meetings. That can feel good when your soon-to-be ex is put on the spot, but it won't feel so nice if you are on the hot seat. Speak to the spouse you're divorcing privately to come to an agreement on how to deal with complaints against either of you during the meeting. You need to make your children feel heard, but you can't give into the temptation to join your child in ganging up against the other parent just because the opportunity presents itself.

Tip #3: Change the Rules as Needed

When you are continuing family meetings during a divorce, the dynamic of these meetings will inevitably change. While every member of the family lived in one household in the meetings before, that will no longer be the case, so you need to set up a new rule about where and when the meetings will be held. In addition to this obvious new rule, you need to set up other rules to prevent your children from feeling burdened by concerns of the parents during the divorce.

Finally, keep in mind that having family meetings during a divorce won't be a good fit for every divorcing couple. If you think that doing so may not be in your own best interests, be sure to talk to your divorce lawyer about your unique situation. If you do decide that family meetings will help your children during the divorce, be consistent and do what it takes to never lose your cool during the meetings.

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