Tips For Breaking The News About Divorce By Yourself

Nobody wants to be facing a divorce, especially when children are involved. Unfortunately, it happens no matter how hard some couples try to work things out. If you find yourself facing the responsibility of breaking the news about your divorce to your kids without the support of your spouse, be sure to follow these tips.

Tip #1: Be Gentle but Consistent When Explaining the Situation

You may think that your children suspect a divorce may be on the horizon, but kids may still be shocked when they hear the news directly from you. Be gentle and understanding with however your kids react, but be sure to also stay consistent with the message you're conveying. Your kids may be looking for hope that the news may not be permanent, but it's important to avoid spreading false hope by swaying on the finality of the news.

Tip #2: Express Your Own Bridled Emotions

Your children need to see that this news is upsetting to you, yet they don't need to feel responsible for your emotional reactions. Let your kids know that you share their pain in the situation, but bridle your emotions so that you don't totally fall apart when your kids need to be the focus of the conversation.

Tip #3: Give Relatives and Other Caregivers a Head's Up

If you have a regular nanny or babysitter that your kids may reach out to during their distress, it's a good idea to let the person know that you will be breaking tough news to your children. The same is true for relatives and other people that your kids may call. Encourage your kids to reach out and express how they are feeling to you or others they trust.

Tip #4: Offer Your Children the Chance to Go to Therapy

When you break the bad news to your children, you may feel like you need to see a therapist yourself, and that's probably a great idea. It's a stressful situation for everyone involved, and going to see a counselor can help you heal. Offer your children the chance to go to individual therapy and family therapy at every stage of the divorce.

Finally, take the time to plan how you want the conversation to go. You shouldn't feel pressured to tell your kids before you're ready to do so. Also, keep in mind that it's important to consult your family law attorney, such as The VK Law Firm, during every step of the divorce proceedings. Your lawyer can answer your legal questions and ensure that your best interests are protected.